Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
by surfer4grits
Summary: It’s been years since Olivia last saw Alex Cabot. She’s left SVU due to her heartache, and is now with the FBI. When she runs into the person she least expects to, can they put things back together again?
1. Default Chapter

**Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder  
****Summary: **It's been years since Olivia last saw Alex Cabot. She's left SVU due to her heartache, and is now with the FBI. When she runs into the person she least expects to, can they put things back together again?**  
Rating: **PG-13  
**Pairing: **AlexOlivia.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. Nada. Zip. Zero.

Chapter One  
Olivia hated waiting. She watched solemnly as the clouds moved in over Chicago. They were a peculiar leaden gray-purple shading to black, full of unpredictable electrical impulses that made one's hair stand on end. It was going to rain, but it wouldn't be a soft rain; it would surely be rain that thudded against the earth with a vengeance, forcing trees and bushes to the ground with the sheer weight of water, pounding the grass flat. If she had to stay in this position- crouched behind a mailbox opposite an upscale Italian restaurant- much longer, she would probably become soaked, and then justifiably enraged. _Just hurry up and get out here so I can bust you, _the brunette mused, cocking her gun.

There was sudden movement. A heavier male exited Vedi Vini Veci and coughed. He drew from his evident designer suit what appeared to be a diamond studded handkerchief and wiped the sweat from his brow. Olivia could tell that this was her guy. She had been after this diamond smuggler for months, and now she had him. Ernesto Benvenuti, head of the Benvenuti crime family, not only had his hands dirty from exporting illegal diamonds, but had also dabbled in murder, drugs, and fraud. She watched anxiously as he smoothed his peppered mustache. Two other men opened the glass door to follow Ernesto. They were both brawny, probably in their early twenties, and were dressed in matching red silk shirts. Liv could tell from the bulge under their left arms that they were packing. It was now or never. She leapt from her hiding spot and shouted. "Freeze, FBI!"

Boy, was that a mistake. She should have just fired. One of the younger gentlemen drew his weapon, while the other pushed Ernesto into a waiting black limousine. Olivia felt her heart thudding in her chest as she observed passerby screaming and fleeing the scene. She aimed at her target and fired. The bodyguard dropped, still clutching his gun. Olivia sprinted across the street and flung open the door to the car. A burning sensation ripped through her shoulder, and she stumbled backwards. She was shot. The blonde man looked at his hands uncertainly at what he had just done, then he signaled for the driver to take off. But Liv wasn't done. Not yet. Slumping against the brick wall, she aimed for the left back tire and shot. Loud hissing broke into the air and the car spun out of control. _Bullseye_. She glanced down at her left side and saw that it was covered in crimson fluid. Clamping her hand tightly against the wound, she tried to retain consciousness. She watched as her fellow agents that were staged in set positions down the road approached the flipped automobile and pulled a bleeding Ernesto out. Olivia mumbled an incoherent 'yes' of congratulations, and looked up.

Two beautiful azure eyes locked with her own. A blonde woman that Olivia vaguely recognized pulled her crumpled body against her gently, screaming for help. "Someone call 911!" Liv smiled deliriously at her rescuer. "Don't worry about me. I'm with SVU…I mean, FBI. I can take care of myself." The mystery girl laughed and hastily wiped at her eyes. "Yeah. Hang in there, Olivia. Help's coming. You did a really good job. Just, don't leave me now-" She observed as the cop's eyes glazed over with exertion. She swallowed the large lump in her throat as the other woman struggled for words. "I won't…but who…are you?…Damn, here comes the rain."

**A few days later-  
**It was quiet. Dim rays of sunlight filtered in through the blinds that covered Olivia's windows. The smell of flowers filled the room that she was confined in. It was nauseating in here; the hospital was her prison. She had to stay here for at least another day. She sighed and rolled over, careful not to put weight on her arm. The wound still stung now and then. Closing her eyes, Olivia remembered the face of the woman who comforted her after the incident. She knew exactly who it was, now that she wasn't in excruciating pain. It was Alex.

God. The one person she had tried to forget was now near her again. After Alex was put into WPP, Olivia tried her best to continue on with her job. But the reminders were always there…and Olivia found herself constantly comparing Casey to the former ADA. It wasn't fair to the young attorney. The two had tried a relationship. Casey was lonely, Olivia need a replacement; it was bound to fail.

"_What are you talking about?" Olivia looked into the glistening eyes of her partner, unsure of what she was hearing._

"_We're not going to work. I'm not Alex, Liv." Her heart stopped. She fought for breath, and her throat was tied in a knot. Words wouldn't come out._

"_I thought you were in love with me. Really, you probably believed it too. But there's times when you see something that reminds you of her, and there's this look in your eye. And that's when I know you could never love me like you love her. You still want her, Olivia. So go find her." _

Olivia tried to find Alex. But no matter how hard she begged, or how involved she was in the system, Witness Protection wouldn't issue her current identity. So, Olivia had done her best to push the insistent memories of her and Alexandra Cabot aside, until last Monday. And unfortunately for WPP, they couldn't interfere with fate. Olivia had seen Alex again, and it wouldn't be the last time. She reached for the phone and called her boss, Captain McClure. She wanted to know where Alex went after the ambulance came.


	2. Surprises

Chapter Two

"McClure."  
"Captain. It's Benson."  
"How are you doin'? Ears still ringing?"  
"Not really. But I need a favor."  
"Don't get used to this. What is it?"  
"You know when I was down…there was a woman there with me- blonde, tall, um…" _Breathtakingly beautiful_, she thought.

"Yeah. I know who you're talking about. Said her name was Marissa. Marissa DeValle, if I remember correctly. I asked her if she knew you. I guess you guys went to college together or something."

"Did she say anything else? Where'd she go after I got picked up?"  
"Funny you should ask. She left me with her address. She wants to talk to you. She came with you to the hospital, stayed all night long, and when you were about to wake up, she left. Address is 642 East Wayne, uptown condo complex. Nice place."

"Thanks Cap. That's all I need."

Olivia flipped her phone closed with a soft click and got out of bed. Screw this. She was checking herself out, and going to see Alex. Pulling on her cargos and a black tee her friend brought her, she managed to sneak out the heavy door and into the reception area. The nurse stationed there arched an eyebrow inquisitively. "Name?"

Liv smiled. "Olivia Benson. I'm checking out." He glanced down at his patient records and looked at her. "You're supposed to stay for observation. Did the doctor already-" "Yeah. He said I could go. Can I sign, please?" The man reluctantly handed her the clipboard and she scribbled her signature furiously. "Thanks."

* * *

Alex felt violated. And for that reason, she was furious. She was about to steam roll WPP. She had specifically said that her family and Olivia could have access to her identity. No one had even bothered to call her when her lover requested her new address two years ago. Crumpling the paper she was holding into a minute ball, she chucked it at her windowpane crossly. Now that she had found Olivia, it was probably too late. She almost certainly had a girlfriend and forgotten about her. _Oh Liv, I'm so sorry. I didn't know…_ Her phone rang in the background. She wasn't going to answer it. Especially if it was her mother. She had known all about Olivia's call, and neglected to inform her. Running a hand through her golden tresses, she slumped back in her chair. What a week. Now that the phone was done, a knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. "Go away," she whispered, glancing out the window. A cab rested on her curb. She decided to get it.

"Alex. It's really you."

The silence was long. Both women stared at each other, taking in the beauty they hadn't seen for ages. Olivia took a breath and extended the arm not in a sling, offering a single white rose. "This is for you…um…can I come in? I told the driver to keep the meter running, incase you weren't home." Alex shook her head vigorously. "Of course. Yeah. Here, I'll pay him. Make yourself at home." Olivia smiled and walked inside. Definitely Alex. Elegant curtains, bookshelves filled to the brim with law, costly black frames on a mahogany table, soft jazz in the background, and no sign of a new girlfriend to boot. Olivia grinned as Alex shut the door behind her. "How's the shoulder?" "Better. It still-" "I know what you mean."

She took a seat on the couch and patted the space next to her. Olivia sat down. "I don't know where to start." The brunette dropped her head in her hands tensely, on the verge of tears. "Liv, I just found out about you trying to get a hold of me. I thought you were over me and…" Alex brought her head up so that they were looking at each other. The moment they had been dreading and anticipating was upon them and there was no way to avoid it now. The same thought ran through both of their heads: _does she still love me? _Liv stood up and whispered hoarsely, "Dance with me?" "Absolutely."

She took Alex in her arms and the music seemed to grow louder. They smiled mutually as they recognized the song as 'God Bless the Child', a favorite of Olivia's. Billie Holiday's majestic voice was almost always blaring in her apartment. "This sure brings back memories, doesn't it?" she murmured. It felt wonderful to hold Alex's soft body against hers once more, even if for only a few minutes. It was almost as if they had never parted.

"We had good times together, Olivia. I think those few months were the happiest time of my life."  
"It wasn't all fun and games. We had tough times, too. Cases we didn't agree on, conflicting schedules..."  
"Don't think about that. We're together. Think about the good times."  
"I am, Alex," she managed to choke out. She looked into lust-clouded eyes and quietly continued. "That's all I ever think about." Then she kissed Alex, chastely at first. She pulled the blonde closer, deepening the kiss. Her lips tasted just as sweet as they always had, and until that moment she hadn't realized how lucky she was to find Alex. They stayed together for several minutes, finally parting for breath. "I love you." Alex's face went starch white. "I love you too, Liv, but…god, I can't. It's too dangerous...you'd get hurt..." Olivia's eyes darted back and forth quickly with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I'm engaged."

A/N: My apologies about how long its taken to post. Been busy, lol.


	3. Explanations

Chapter Three: Explanations  
"Alex…I…I want to be alone for a while." Olivia stifled her own tears as she broke the embrace. It was bad when Alex was stalked, it was bad when Alex was shot, it was bad when Alex was put in WPP…but this...about to be married? Olivia knew in her heart she could never leave Alex…no matter what she did, Liv would always love her. But it was so hard to see her do this to their relationship. If she really loved me, why couldn't she have said 'no'?_ I did the same thing to her with Casey…but that was different. I left. She didn't. _

"Wait, let me explain!" Alex caught up to her lover and grasped her hand. "Was the sex good? Did he fuck you until you couldn't see straight?" Her blue eyes grew to the size of saucers at the harsh words, but she retained composure. Olivia had every right to be distressed. "No. He never touched me; I couldn't. Olivia, you have to understand. I really didn't think we would ever see each other again. I hoped; I prayed- but my mother told me you wanted it this way. That's why you didn't get my information. She denied you access." Olivia's mouth almost dropped to the floor in anger.

"Alex, how could she? I loved-" She paused. "Love you. Tell me it's not all gone; tell me we're not over…" Alex drew her mouth into a thin line, trying to halt the forthcoming waterworks. "I'll never be over you. Kiss me?" She felt stupid to ask, but her request was immediately granted. Olivia leaned over and brushed her lips against Alex's. It wasn't a simple kiss- but a full, passion filled, tongue all the way in the mouth, drift into rapture kind of kiss.

Alex first felt guilty and frightened of being caught doing something that would hurt James (her fiancée), but then the guilt vanished, replaced by excitement. Liv let herself lean back and wrapped her arms around the slender neck before her, squeezing tight for an instant before Alex pushed her away. "I'm so scared, Olivia. I want you to kiss me…but I feel like he could be watching…" They had made their way into the bedroom, and she let her body fall on top of her lover's. Olivia pressed their foreheads together in an attempt to ease Alex's fears.

"Do you love him?"  
"No."  
"Do you want him?"  
"No."  
"Then don't be scared. You're not doing anything wrong."  
"Okay."

She planted a tiny kiss on her neck. "I can't lose you again." Alex gazed up at Olivia like a child might gaze at a shooting star, full of wonder and admiration. "Don't be afraid…" Liv reassured her as well as kissed her again, this time faster. She wrapped her arms around Alex's back, and hugged their bodies together tightly.

Alex gripped the hem of Olivia's tee and pulled up, yanking the shirt skyward. "Black looks better off of you than on, believe it or not." Olivia's full lips turned bent into a bow and she licked at the hollow of Alex's throat. Her hands wandered down to Alex's pink camisole and tugged it off. No bra was very un-Alex, but convenient. She noticed that Alex's cheeks were flushed with…embarrassment? She could tell because Alex's ears turned red when she was hot. "What's the matter?" "I've put on a few pounds…" She hadn't. She never did. Olivia remembered the countless conversations they had before this.

"No you haven't. And even if you had, you're beautiful. You're soft and curvy, but toned at the same time…believe me, you have a figure worth looking at." She meant every word.  
"You don't have to waste lies on me…I know you love me and you don't care what I look like…" Liv hugged her close.  
"But I meant it. You are beautiful." She blushed even deeper.  
"You have a figure worth looking at too, you know." Now it was Olivia's turn to be self-conscious, but it only lasted momentarily. The cocky cop grinned.  
"Thanks. It looks better when it's on top of yours, believe it or not."

* * *

Olivia snuggled against the warm body beside her. "Alex…" The woman stirred and moaned. "Mmm. Let me sleep. It's the first time I have in ages." Liv grinned and complied. It had been a while since she had rested a full night too. She didn't have any clothes though, and she was supposed to go back to work and get some stuff to fill out. Damn. Just when she thought she had a break.

The structured detective cradled her head against her elbows. Velez was back. Alex was engaged to some pompous ass named James. But still, loving each other in secret was better than nothing. It was just hard sharing her world with another person. "I shouldn't ask you this…" Alex turned around at the spoken words. "What?" "Are you going to break up with him?"

"Of course. It's not going to be easy, though. What man wants to hear he got dumped for a woman? Not exactly an ego booster." Olivia grinned. "Okay. Whatever happens, I'm fine. As long as I get you." Alex winked. "You've always had me."

* * *

_God. Damn. Paper. Work. _Olivia cursed silently at the countless parchment before her, pen twisting in hand. She'd be off duty by the time this was filled out. McClure stepped by, leaning his head over her shoulder. "Nice to see you, Benson. Meet that friend of yours?" _Friend…oh._ "Yeah, Marissa? We hooked up again. Talked about old times, blah blah blah. Your weekend?" The elder man wiggled his brows. "A gentlemen never kisses and tells, but my wife and I had a romantic getaway. Quite uncommon."

Olivia emitted a soft laugh and pursued her never-ending quest to finish her paperwork. Alex was meeting James right now and telling him it was over. She hoped it went well. But then again, how well can things possibly go when you tell your fiancée the relationship is done two months before your wedding? Her cell rang noisily, disturbing her thoughts. "Benson."

"Olivia, its Stabler."  
"Hey, Elliot. What's going on?"  
"We have a situation, and I think the FBI would be interested."  
"The FBI, or me?"  
"Both, really."  
"What supposedly piques my interest, El?"  
"We arrested a suspect with known ties to Velez. Michael Garcia. Velez is in Chicago."  
"I know," she said, breathlessly- a vision of Alex bleeding shot into her mind.

**"Did you know his headquarters are beside Alex's work?"**


	4. Have We Met?

Chapter Four: Have We Met?  
The woman with the black heels stepped into the elevator behind Velez, but he didn't see her at first. He smelled her though- the sweet odor of expensive soap and hair products. They were alone as the machine moved upward, and when he finally glanced over, he saw the shoes; ebony and shiny and fit perfectly. "Have we met?" She shook her head. "Sorry." "I see." He looked straight ahead at her through thick Versaci sunglasses, thoroughly inspecting her. She didn't belong. It was not her building, not her elevator, not her line of work. The drug dealers on all eight floors had never dated a woman like this. It was someone else…with the government maybe.

They got out at the sixth floor, and Olivia's heart was racing. _Just shoot him. Everyone would believe he threatened me._ But she couldn't do it. She couldn't end the life of anyone without having reason, although he did almost kill Alex. Her thoughts were cut short when an awfully long handgun was placed against the back of my neck. "Don't shoot," she said, hands in the air. "Shut up," he mumbled, his voice laced thick with an accent, held steady by a great deal of composure. There were voices in the hallway behind them. Someone yelled, "Spy!" And then the voices disappeared into the background, growing fainter and fainter as Velez's colleagues hit the back door. Olivia could almost see them jumping out the windows.

He lead her to her immediate left, which was a large conference room. He slammed the door behind her, and slowly waved the gun through the air so that she could see all of it. "Up against the wall," he said, using the gun as a very effective prop to face her adjacent to brick. "Lock the doors." Liv did. She wasn't in any situation to protest. "I remember you," he drawled, smilingly devilishly. "You dated that ADA who gave Gaveria a hard time. Alexandra, I believe. Excuse me, do you still date her?" The brunette scowled angrily and resisted the urge to spit in the Columbian's face. He didn't have the right to say her name. "That's none of your business." "It is, seeing how I was the one who sent that tiny piece of metal through her shoulder. I know you cops think that I'm above standard homicide because I'm at the top of my business, but I still enjoy revenge every now and then. I shot the bitch."

Her hands clenched into a fist involuntarily. White knuckled, she turned to face the barrel of the gun. "Why? I know you couldn't- you don't have a conscience- but do you ever consider the victim or their family? The price everyone pays because they pissed you off?" He smirked smugly and approached her, running his finger down her chest. "No. Before you die, I could have some fun with you. I think I will." Olivia exhaled deeply and prayed. _I really don't ask for much, Lord, but if I die, please take care of Alex. _The last hour flashed before her; how she had informed McClure of all that had happened, his instantaneous response of sending her and a small crew of agents to take him down, talking to Alex. Telling her she loved her. Telling her she meant everything.

Velez began to unbutton her shirt, when a bullet broke through the window across the room. It shattered the glass and drove through the man's skull, taking with it the drug dealer's life. Olivia sighed in relief, silently thanking the sharpshooters positioned on the other building.

* * *

Alex was worried about Olivia. Their last conversation had been awkward. 

"_Alex? It's me."  
_"_Hey. I just told James. He was upset but…understanding. It could've been worse. I won't push it by saying we're friends, though."  
_"_Oh. That's great."  
_"_Something on your mind?"  
_"_Hmm? No, just thinking about how much I love you. You know that, right?"  
_"_Of course. Are you okay, Liv?"  
_"_Fine. I just…I don't know. Am I still picking you up for dinner at seven?"  
_"_Yep. Olivia, I think something's going on- you don't have to tell me. Just be careful."  
_"_Always. Love you."  
_"_Love you too."_

It was growing closer and closer to seven o'clock, and the nightly news flickered on her TV screen. She noticed absent-mindedly the colors sprayed on her wall, when the broadcaster spoke. "Earlier today, the head of a major drug smuggling investigation was taken down. No names are being given, but we have been able to recover some information. FBI Detective Olivia Benson was the lead agent on the case, and is responsible for his arrest. During the action, the drug lord was shot. He is currently in critical condition." Alex sucked in air, holding it briefly. "Olivia…" The doorbell rang.

Olivia grinned back at Alex's worried face, knowing she must have seen the news. "Are you ready to be Alex Cabot again?" The blonde closed her eyes as a smile spread itself on her features. "Oh, yes." Olivia looped her arm around a thin waist as Alex led them to her car, a black Honda S2000. The detective couldn't contain herself as she begged her love to drive. "Just don't get me a speeding ticket." It was a stick shift, and Olivia felt her eyebrows lurch upwards. "I didn't consider you much of a 'stick' type of girl, Miss Cabot." Alex giggled and placed her hand over Olivia's. "Trust me, I'm not."

* * *

"So Velez is out of the picture? I'm not in Witness Protection anymore?" Olivia managed a 'yes' through a mouthful of pasta. "Great! Do you know what this means, Olivia? We can go back to New York." The brunette didn't exactly beam with pleasure. "I…uh, I kinda left SVU on bad terms. I quit." Alex knowingly took a sip of her wine. "I know. I called Cragen and explained you were under a lot of stress, and he's willing to take you back." Olivia nodded appreciatively. "Thanks." "No problem. The DA's office is also willing to have me back as homicide ADA. We start next week. Good thing I kept my old apartment…" She glanced at Olivia warily; making sure this is what she wanted. "…will you move in with me?" "What kind of girlfriend would I be if I said no? Damn right, I'll move in with you."

* * *

For the first time in her life, Casey Novak was perplexed. She had wanted Olivia gone, let the best thing in her life walk away to someone else…and she had been fine with it. Up until she got news that Liv was returning. With Alex. Why is it that sometimes it takes the force of jealousy to make you realize that you are in love? Casey was taking Olivia back, and if Alex got in her way, she'd better watch out. An angry redhead was a force to reckon with. 


	5. Accusations

Chapter Five: Accusations  
First day back on the job. Olivia smiled contently beside Elliot, looking out the window at the hectic place that was New York. Even though she'd go through some depressing times today, nothing could go seriously wrong. Not on a day like today.

* * *

Alex peered upward through black glasses at the sound of a knock. "Come in," she chorused, her voice unusually tinged with a singsong quality. She was happy for the first time in a long while. Her and Olivia were living together and Velez was put away. A petite woman walked through the door, dressed in evident lawyer attire. She toted a briefcase at her side. 

"And you are?"  
"Casey Novak, SVU ADA. You're Alex, right?"  
"The one and only. What are you here for?"  
"Just to…welcome you back. It's been a tough time trying to fill your shoes."

Alex couldn't help but smile. She was a hell of an attorney, and she knew it.

"Thanks. I know you didn't come all the way down here to blow the wind in my sails, Miss Novak. What do you _really _want?"  
"I just needed some help on a case…"

* * *

Olivia pulled open the heavy white door to her apartment, inhaling the sweet fragrance of Alex. _**Their** apartment_, she reminded herself, eyes gleaming when she caught the sight of daffodils on the table. "Baby, I'm home." "Baby? I thought I was sweetheart, Olivia." Casey stepped out from behind a wall, completely catching Olivia off guard. The normally witty cop struggled for words. 

"Um…where's Alex? And what are you doing in our home?"  
"Alex is giving me some advice on the Williams case. She also invited me for dinner…will that be a…problem?"

She whispered deliciously in Olivia's ear, deliberately pushing herself against the strong body. Olivia backed into the kitchen counter, trying to stop the lustful advance she was getting from her ex. "We're done, Casey. Now, where's Alex?" "She went to get take-out. We have some time. You can do whatever you want." A slick tongue made its way down Olivia's chiseled jaw and stopped just short of her lips. Casey pressed herself into Olivia's arms and kissed her firmly, wanting to make Olivia realize the desire she thought had to be pent-up inside somewhere. Olivia didn't kiss back; she simply stood there, rigid.

"Get off me." She pushed Casey backwards, ignoring the come on. "I love Alex. You know that." Casey felt hot tears leaking down her cheeks. Embarrassed, she quickly went to gather her things. "This isn't over, Olivia. We had something; you can't ignore it. You can't- not the way we were. Not the way you felt when we made love…" Casey stuffed papers back into her bag half-hazardly and made her way back to Olivia. "You'll realize it sooner or later." Olivia felt like punching the other woman after hearing the salacious remark. "No, Casey. I'm sorry. Please leave. And don't try to get to me by using Alex." Casey stormed out, almost running into Alex in the hallway. "She's all yours, bitch."

* * *

Alex balled her hand in an effort to not send rice flying across the room. Olivia had slept with Casey. 

"You slept with her, didn't you?"  
"I'm so sorry, Alex…I didn't know she'd take it like this. She was the one who said to keep trying to find you."  
"How could you do that to me? Act so angry and hurt when I told you I was engaged? But no, I didn't even sleep with the guy and you go awall. While I'm remembering what we had in Chicago, back it New York you're fucking my replacement. Way to charm me, Olivia. Really."  
"It didn't mean anything to me. Every time I was with her, I saw you. I know it's twisted but…"  
"Yeah, you're right. It is twisted. And I can't trust that you won't do it again. Did you plan for her to come over tonight?"  
"What?! No! You know damn well I wouldn't do that to you. She tried to get me to take her back. I wouldn't do it. I love you and only you, Alex."

She tried to kiss her, but Alex pulled away.

"I think we need some space. Time to think this through. I love you Olivia, but the way you acted…and now I found out you were doing somebody? It's hard to hear all in one sitting."  
"Space? Alex, I think we've had enough of that to last-"  
"Please. Just…leave."  
"…ok. Fine."

Olivia grabbed her coat and stared at the hurt blue eyes before her. Before she walked out, she dropped a box on the couch.

"Here. I bought this for you today. I doubt it means anything now."

She fled before the emotions would come, leaving a heart-broken Alex holding onto a beautiful diamond tennis bracelet and regrets. _I shouldn't have said those things…

* * *

_

Abbie heard the doorbell and tried to overlook it, continuing to kiss the lovely blonde. It rang again. "Geez. Hang on, darlin'." She looked out the peephole and saw Detective Benson outside, wringing her hands. "Olivia, hey. What can I do for you?" "I need a favor. Can I come in?" 

"Yeah, sure. I think you know my girlfriend, Harper Anderson." Olivia smiled at the unexpected guest. Harper was one of the rape victims she had helped. "Yeah, I do. How are you, Harper?"

"Fine. You don't look so good, though."

A/N: Sorry this one was mostly dialogue, guys. I didn't know how else to show conflict. Chapter Six will be up soon with some yummy AO action…;) Did you like the part where Alex says "I know you didn't come down here just to blow the wind in my sails"? lol I thought that was really her.


	6. It Didn't Matter At All

Chapter Six: It Didn't Matter At All (Finale)  
A/N: It's been forever. Or, in code, it's been me taking 2 AP classes. Ha, enjoy the finale. It's in Alex's POV, sort of special for the ending.

"You don't have to put on the red light," someone had said to me a long time ago. I guess I do build up these barriers for people to break through, but it's only because I don't want to get hurt. The one time I let the red light fade, I'm devastated. Funny how love works, isn't it?

I miss her. I miss her so much, and it's only been a couple of hours. Hours are eternity when you're alone in a cold bed, wrapping sheets and piling pillows around you to make you feel less abandoned. Olivia…please, I forgive you. Come back. The words I need to call her and tell her, but I can't. Apologies are something that are foreign to me. Especially when I'm the one that should be apologized to.

The diamonds she gave me drip with emotion, and they burn holes through my wrists though I'm freezing. "It's stunning, isn't it?" I raise my head and try not to stir at her soft voice, which stands out among my raucous torment. I feel myself mouth a yes, and she holds up the diamonds to examine them in the glow of a candle.

"You didn't sound surprised when you heard me come in."

"I was," I say quickly, but catch myself. I knew she'd come back, Olivia always would. Lie number one, Alex. How many more are you willing to tell her and yourself? "I mean, I'm not surprised. I thought you would come home…I'm just glad it was soon." She grins and sits next to me.

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment." As she stretches out, I notice how the green sweater she's wearing hung the curves I know so well. What is it about her that still steals my breath away and makes me forgive her? The person she is? Our life together? I don't know, but the effects she had on me during our first encounter are stronger than that today.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. Casey was…no, forget Casey. There's never been any one else but you. I shouldn't have acted like I did in Chicago, and I should have told you what went on between me and Casey back there." Everything I want to hear, but I don't care. All that matters is that she's here with me, here with me after all these years apart. I guess that's why none of this is important at all.

"Olivia…it's none of that anymore. I'm over all of it; just to hear you speak these words and tell me how much you regret- it tells me that we've both suffered enough." Her brown eyes sparkle at this comment and she cups my face ever so hesitantly. "You're so beautiful, Alex Cabot," she whispers, and traces her thumb against my cheek. The kiss that follows is almost breathlike, and we give in to everything we felt, everything we feel, everything we've wanted and want, everything we are at this exact moment- this instant in time.

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her again, sensing her desire and my own. I bury my hand in her hair she moans slightly, tilting her head back and giving me access to her tender neck. Instead of taking the bait, I pull back and simply stare at her, then lead her into the bedroom. The darkness is welcoming as she blows out the single candle lighting our way, and we hold each other, bathed both in the milky light of the moon and shadow.

My lips slide over her cheek and neck as I lift the cotton concealing her from me over her head. I taste the dip of her shoulder, loving the confusing sound it elicited. "Alex," she begins, "I should be doing this for you…" I shake my head silently. I want her to be the one that feels tonight. I'm over the hurt, and she needs to know it.

Her skin is hot to the touch now, and I can tell she's almost there as I collapse (from sheer exhaustion of watching her)on top of her. As the passion devours her, I wrap her in my arms and whisper words of promise and love, and I can tell this did her more good than it would've done me.

"Distance might make the heart grow fonder," she teases, playing with my hair and relishing in the aftermath of our lovemaking. "I don't think that's possible," I say, serious as ever. "You have no idea how much I love you."

"Oh, but I do," she says, and I feel her lips as they linger against my own gingerly. In the past, all these confessions of love might have made me self-conscious and encouraged me to put up more barriers. Now, however, it didn't matter at all.  



End file.
